A man was having a conversation with Buddha in the middle of the night. Buddha was sitting down while the man was standing.
Man: O Buddha, I have a girlfriend of five years, but now I have fallen madly in love with a new lady. I really don’t know what to do.
Buddha: Are you sure that the lady you’re now madly in love with is the one you love most, and will be the very last woman in your life?
Man: Yes.
Buddha: Then initiate a break up so you can be with the new lady!
Man: But my current girlfriend is gentle, kind, virtuous. If I initiate a break up, wouldn’t it be quite cruel and unethical?
Buddha: In marriage and love, it will only be cruel and unethical if there is no love. You’re now in love with another lady and no longer your girlfriend, and a break up is the right thing to do.
Man: But my girlfriend loves me very much, she really loves me very much.
Buddha: Then she is fortunate.
Man: I’m going to leave her for another woman, and this should cause her to be in misery. How can she be fortunate?
Buddha: Because she still possesses the love she has for you, whereas you have lost the love you have for her, because you have fallen for someone new. Accurately speaking, it is a blessing to possess and a misfortune to lose possession, therefore the one in misery is you.
Man: But I’m leaving her for another woman, she should be the one who has lost me and thus feel miserable.
Buddha: You’re wrong. You’re only an entity in her love life. When you, the entity, no longer exists, her true love will continue on to another entity. Because in her love life, she has never lost true love, therefore she is the one who should be blessed and you the one in pain.
Man: She said she would love only me all her life and not a second man.
Buddha: Have you not said something similar before?
Man: I… I… I…
Buddha: Look at the three candles in the urn before you, the one that shines most brightly.
Man: I don’t know, they’re all equally bright.
Buddha: These three candles can be likened to three women. One of them is the woman you have fallen for. There are so many humans in existence, and there are more than hundreds of thousands of women. You can’t even tell which is the brightest or point out which is the woman you love now, yet why are you so sure the one you love now is that woman, and even more so, how can you be so sure she will be the last woman in your life?
Man: I… I… I…
Buddha: Now put one candle close to you, and look closely which of the three candles are the brightest.
Man: Of course it’s the one right in front of me.
Buddha: Now put it back to where it was, and then look again and tell me which is the brightest.
Man: I really cannot tell which is the brighest.
Buddha: Actually, the candle you brought before you is like the woman whom you have fallen for. Love stems from the heart. While you love her, you feel that she is the brightest candle. When you put the candle back to where it was, once again you could not tell which was the brightest candle. This type of love is only a kind of greed that blinds you and looks beautiful and perfect on the surface, but in the end it’s only an empty dream.
Man: Oh! Now I know. You didn’t really want me to leave my girlfriend, you merely wanted to enlighten me.
Buddha: I won’t tell you if you’ve seen through me. Now, go.
Man: Now I really know who I love – she is my girlfriend.
Buddha: Amituofo, amituofo, amituofo. When one is alive, one can hardly avoid love. May all lovers in the world cherish the one beside them, steer clear of greed and illusions and create happiness with their special one.
